What I Wish I Knew About My Undiagnosed Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) in Post-Secondary

Looking back, my first experience with post-secondary was a confusing mix of potential and burnout. I was excited to learn ALL the things, but at the same time, only the things that really, really interested me. Even then, I found it hard to sit still and even harder to concentrate on what I needed to do – whether it was starting an assignment or taking notes in class. It felt like I was constantly teetering between procrastination and pulling all-nighters – the only time that ideas seemed to flow easily onto my page. I often criticized myself, “Why can’t I finish my assignments ahead of the deadline like everybody else?”

At the time, I didn’t understand what was happening. I chalked up my concentration struggles and work ethic up to the classes being boring or telling myself that I was lazy. I compared myself constantly to my classmates and friends, wondering why everyone else seemed to finish things so easily. The ongoing sense of always being behind—and the shame that came with it—eventually led me to believe that post-secondary just wasn’t meant for me. I dropped out and dismissed the idea of a post-secondary education for myself for many years.

It wasn’t until years later, after returning to post-secondary and learning more about ADHD in a psychology class, that I began to see myself through a different lens. I started to understand why academics felt harder for me, a realization that eventually led to my ADHD diagnosis. Here’s what I wish I had known before starting post-secondary:

ADHD Doesn’t Always Look the Way You Think It Does

Before my diagnosis, I thought ADHD was a diagnosis only kids had and that it only looked like what we now call a hyperactive presentation; often characterized by excessive energy and impulsivity. I didn’t know that I could struggle with it as an adult. I also didn’t know there were different subtypes (e.g., inattentive and combined), or that they could look so different, especially in females. For me, ADHD showed up as:

·      Constant racing thoughts (that was initially diagnosed as anxiety)

·      Physical restlessness when having to sit for long periods of time

·      Reading the same page over and over

·      Zoning out while writing papers

·      Avoiding tasks until the panic of a deadline forced me into action

“Lazy” Is the Wrong Word

There’s a certain feeling of shame that comes from wanting to do well but being unable to follow through. My friends seemed to be able to focus, complete their assignments, and avoid the extremely distressing cycle of procrastination and hyperfocus. “Why couldn’t I?”  I internalized that I was lazy and undisciplined. Except, I wasn’t either of those things; I was navigating life with undiagnosed ADHD.

I didn’t know that ADHD affects executive functioning – the ability to plan, prioritize, initiate tasks, and regulate emotions. My brain struggled to initiate tasks, prioritize them, and maintain focus. No amount of self-criticism could fix it. I didn’t need more pressure, I needed understanding and tools.

Burnout Is Real

I spent soooo much time trying to ignore my struggles and push through to the next day, next week, next assignment. I told myself: “After this [insert any test or paper], I’ll feel better.” Except, that was never the case. I pushed through, relying on self-imposed anxiety, adrenaline, and caffeine, until I burnt out.

I now understand that pushing through without support can cause mental health struggles. If I had known about my ADHD diagnosis earlier, I would have been more compassionate with myself. I might have acknowledged that I needed rest, different routines, and ways to regulate my nervous system. Managing ADHD is still a struggle at times, but discovering strategies that work for me has helped me to better navigate all aspects of life. 

Support Systems Do Exist (But You Have to Ask)

There are many services and supports available to post-secondary students, including disability support services, mental health resources, and academic accommodations. At the time, I did not realize that ADHD I could qualify me for grants through student aid and government programs. I was also unaware that I could request help and accommodation in my course load, assignments, and deadlines. Maybe I didn’t seek this support because I didn’t know what was available, or maybe it was because I didn’t think my struggles were “bad enough” to ask for help.

Whatever the reason, I truly wish I had known about (and utilized) these supports. Which leads me to my next point...

There’s Nothing Wrong with Needing Help

I’ll admit, after getting diagnosed, I felt a bit ashamed and even went through a period of not fully believing it. Nobody that I knew had ADHD; I felt like the odd one out. I didn’t want to be judged, especially in the academic setting, so I didn’t tell anyone for a while. Once I let go of the shame and opened up to my family, friends, and advisor, I wasn’t judged at all. In fact, I was met with understanding and support.

I’ve come to realize that reaching out to others is not a weakness, it’s a form of wisdom. I had already spent far too long trying to figure it all out on my own, with arguably less than ideal results, so why not try asking others?

If I could go back, I’d tell myself:

·      You’re not imagining things.

·      Work through whatever mental block you have around asking for help.

·      Your brain works differently, and that’s okay!

Diagnosis Isn’t a Label—It’s a Lens

Ultimately, getting diagnosed didn’t limit me—it liberated me. It provided me with a framework to understand how my brain processes the world and how I could work with it instead of against it. I began exploring strategies like body doubling, visual timers, and building interest-based motivation into my routines. I learned how important structure, breaks, and novelty were. I started to see my brain as an asset, not a liability.

If you're struggling and wondering why things feel harder than they should, know that you're not alone. There’s no shame in asking questions, seeking answers, or reaching out for help. There’s nothing wrong with how your brain works; it may just need a different type of support.