What Do Your Boundaries Look Like This Holiday Season?

As we step into December, it's normal to feel both the anticipation and excitement of the holiday season, while also carrying the weight of responsibility, planning, and fatigue. Less sunlight, increased family time, financial pressures, and growing to-do lists can leave us feeling stretched too thin.

We’re often encouraged to take time for ourselves, to step back, unplug, and breathe. This isn’t about abandoning responsibilities, but rather it’s about approaching them with balance. Boundaries create space to rest without guilt, connect without burnout, and to show up in a way that feels sustainable. They help us make room for joy, presence, and restoration.

What Are Boundaries?

Boundaries are the limits we set for ourselves, others, and the environment in which we exist. They help us to define what kinds of behaviour, words, or actions are acceptable, and what we are willing to give or accept in our personal and professional relationships (Chernata, 2024). They aren’t fixed walls we build once and walk away from. Boundaries ebb and flow depending on stress levels, personal growth, and circumstance. Some life seasons call for wider, more flexible limits while others call for them to be more rigid and fixed.

How Do I recognize What My Boundaries Are?

Recognizing and upholding your boundaries requires self-reflection, intention, and a willingness to tolerate discomfort along the way. It’s an active process that requires you to check in with yourself regularly. Begin by noticing your emotional cues; feelings like resentment, guilt, anxiety, or exhaustion often signal that something in your environment isn’t aligning with your needs. These emotions can be early indicators that you are over-extending yourself, neglecting your well-being, or drifting from your priorities.

Boundaries aren’t limited to relationships with others; they also show up in the way we care for ourselves. Many of us push through long stretches at the computer without breaks, skip meals, ignore bodily signals, or bring work home until there is no time left to decompress. The winter months ahead add another layer of strain, making nourishment, rest, and balanced routines even more important. Noticing how your body feels at the end of the day can tell you a lot about what your limits are and if they are being respected or not both by others and yourself. Identifying areas where you feel overwhelmed or drained can help illuminate where adjustments are needed.

Boundaries require us to stretch in new and unfamiliar ways. Even positive changes can feel awkward at first. For example, reducing daily screen time from three hours to one might feel jarring; not because the new boundary is wrong, but because it interrupts a familiar pattern. Relational boundaries can at times prove to be a challenge and although expressing various limits to relatives can be uncomfortable, it may also be necessary to support and strengthen our sense of self.

This is where accountability becomes essential. Setting intentions is meaningful, but following through, especially when it’s difficult, is what strengthens boundaries over time. Each time you honour a limit, even in small ways, you reinforce trust in yourself. You begin to build the internal muscle that allows you to protect your well-being, while still staying connected to the people and responsibilities that matter.

As you move through the coming weeks, check in with yourself, adjust where needed, and honour what you have the capacity for. Boundaries aren’t meant to restrict your life; they’re meant to support it. They preserve energy, support self-connection, and make space for steadiness and joy. Though potentially uncomfortable, the long-term benefits are worth the stretch. The goal is to offer yourself the same compassion you extend to others, allowing yourself to create room for restoration, joy, and meaning as you navigate through this holiday season.

How do I Set Boundaries During the Holiday Season?

Clear, compassionate boundaries help you participate in the season in ways that feel sustainable rather than draining, allowing you to prioritize what truly matters without resentment or burnout.

5 Practical Strategies for Setting Holiday Boundaries

1. Decide your limits ahead of time: Before the season gets busy, take time to identify what you realistically have the capacity for - emotionally, financially, and socially. For example, decide how many gatherings you’ll attend or how much you’re willing to spend on gifts, then use those decisions as your guide when invitations or requests come up.

2. Use clear and simple language: You don’t need to over-explain or justify your choices. Practicing phrases like, “That doesn’t work for us this year” or “We’ll be keeping things low-key” can help you communicate boundaries confidently and kindly without getting pulled into guilt-based conversations.

3. Discomfort doesn’t mean you’re doing something wrong: If a boundary disappoints someone, remind yourself that prioritizing your well-being is not selfish. For example, choosing to leave an event early or skip one altogether may feel uncomfortable, but it may be necessary for your mental health.

4. Create exit plans for gatherings: Give yourself permission to leave when you need to. Driving your own vehicle, setting a time limit in advance, or having a check-in signal with a partner can help you maintain boundaries without feeling trapped or overwhelmed.

5. Revisit and reinforce boundaries as needed: Boundaries often need repetition. If someone pushes back, calmly restate your boundary rather than engaging in debate. For instance, repeating, “We won’t be able to make it this year, but we hope you have a great time,”reinforces consistency and reduces emotional exhaustion.

References

Chernata, T. (2024). Personal boundaries: Definition, role, and impact on mental health. Psychology of Personality, 3(1), 24-30. https://doi.org/10.31652/2786-6033-2024-3(1)-24-30